Today, I am doubting everything. I am doubting who I am, what I want to be, and how I got here. I know, as soon as I turn it all over to Him, He will make it all clear. And honestly, I have known this was coming for some time, I just kept pushing on thinking everything was going to be ok (in other words, I was stubborn).
Did you know that doubt is a silent killer of your faith? You think, why has God done this to me? Why am I here? Why should I continue turning to Him, when all I get is grief and things are taken away from me?
It is understandable to have feelings like this after a terrible loss. It takes time to come to terms with the situation that has destroyed you in every possible way you can imagine. However, God works in, and through every situation we face. Nothing takes God by surprise. He can make good out of an impossible situation (even if you think nothing ever will be good again). In cases where something awful has happened, God is so patient with us. He knows it will take a toll on us. And He is the answer to getting us back on our feet through hope and faith.
In times of doubt, turn to God. He will guide you in the way He wants you to go. And we must be humble about it (I am preaching to myself here). We cannot expect God to work in our lives if we are bull headed and only want things the way we want them.
It is absolutely imperative to understand that God has a plan for us, even if we have to go through heartache to get to the goal, He is with us.
It is never ever fun to go through tough times that threaten to knock us out for the count. God sees the Big Picture and knows exactly what he is doing. We cannot see that big picture, therefore we MUST trust in Him to show us the big picture.
I hope this is speaking to you. I know, I have to put this out there because I cannot keep it bottled up inside much longer. Yes, I am going through this and am working my way to the Big Picture through God. I pray many times a day for Him to show me the route in which I should go. And I can honestly say, He is guiding me in some directions and not in others. That just tells me that those other directions that I don't feel God's guidance are ways I should not be going.
I pray that if you are going through grief and depression that you will turn to God for guidance and not try to go through it alone.
~Sherie
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